Who's your GURU?

With the release of Beyonce’s Homecoming video, there has also come lots of interest in the specific part of the video where she talks about what she did in terms of food to get “ back in shape” and performance ready. As a result, I’ve seen comments from people ready to jump in and start doing exactly what she did ( which we can’t really know, because she didn’t film every waking moment, nor should she be expected to ) in order to achieve HER results.

It’s not going to happen people, and here’s why.

First, her results are context specific which means, they are specific to her. Her body, her resources, her ability to make that a priority, her focus, her time. The factors she’s working with are not the same as the ones you are so attempting to replicate what she did isn’t helpful or useful for you in really understanding and consistently doing what will allow you to feel, look and be your version of healthy. And worse, what happens when most people do try to replicate things they’ve read, been sold or told is that they don’t work, they feel bad, unmotivated, undisciplined, or lacking in some way as a person, and continue the search for something OUTSIDE OF THEMSELVES to make it all better.

You can’t outsource self-awareness.

Second, someones status as a social media influencer, celebrity or icon of any kind doesn’t automatically make them qualified, or able to accurately tell you how to best take care of YOU health wise. Someone’s bikini body, filtered selfie, weight loss story, transformation tuesday picture, or green juice sponsorship doesn’t either.

Third, what she described doing isn’t doable for MOST of the population, let alone sustainable long term. If you’re truly interested in health enhancing behaviors that support all your ideas of “ health” mental and physical, severe restriction isn’t on that list.

I truly don’t think she shared what she did as a message to all those watching to go do it. I think she shared it because it’s a documentary, part of her story, and the story and it highlights a really important thing I think we all need to remember. Her humanness. Her vulnerability to possibly getting sucked into the same made up standards you may be striving to meet or holding yourself to, along with the expectations of others.

My point is, it’s ok if this is where you are with yourself right now. There is still and always present chance to turn that ship around and shift the focus to more important things like I listed below.

I do know watching the video is an opportunity FOR YOU to do the following :

  1. Enjoy a masterclass on black culture and history from a FiERCE musician, storyteller, business woman and human.

  2. Marvel and focus on how STRONG and CONDITIONED she must be physically to be able to sing and dance for hours and hours.

  3. Applaud and celebrate her WORK ETHIC and dedication to her craft, gifts and talents and continue to develop them.

  4. Appreciate that she made this video as a way of CONNECTING to and CELEBRATING her fan base and the people who couldn’t afford a ticket to Coachella, but would absolutely be uplifted and connected to who and what she was trying to champion and support.

  5. Notice what thoughts you have about your own eating habits, your body, your life and yourself as you watch it. Are they leaning toward “ WOW, she kicks ass doing such cool stuff in the world, and it looks like she’s having an amazing time doing it. I’m happy for her and I can do the same thing. I’m getting closer everyday to having that level of success, flow, happiness and mastery of what matters to me and that feels good. Or are they more like “ No bread for me now! or” I wish I was as motivated, disciplined, as Beyonce. I wish I had her body, her money, her time, her everything. “

  6. Start BEING YOUR OWN GURU. The one you begin listening to, trusting and looking to for what feels good, feels right, feels supportive and feels “ HEALTHY.”

BECAUSE you can’t outsource SELF-AWARENESS.

If you’re the person who scrolls through social media looking for the next “ thing” to try and trusting thin, smiling, young people simply because they tell you too, i’m here to tell you, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

Here’s HOW :

Start by getting super clear on what “ healthy” feels like for you and leave looks completely out of it. What would it be most important for you to FEEL or DO if it didn’t matter what you looked like?

What “ health enhancing behaviors “ work for you and how do you want them to show up in your life? Are they mostly physical ( movement, sleep, eating habits, regular medical care), mental ( cultivating a positive and resilient mindset, connection and support from others , firm boundaries and self-advocacy skills, engaging in activities you love and feel a part of ) or is it a combination of both? News flash, YOU GET TO CUSTOMIZE IT TO FIT your life, your goals, your resources, your priorities, YOUR EVERYTHING and any coach, teacher, dr. , or health and wellness advocate of any kind worth their salt is going to ASK YOU what that looks like for you, not TELL YOU what it SHOULD.

Other things to consider are:

What would you choose to prioritize because it enhances how you feel?

What resources do you ALREADY have available to you that you can use more fully and consistently?

What resources, info, support do you need MORE OF to help the actions because regular habits that you can build from and work from even as your life changes?

What challenges do you anticipate to consistently being able to do this and what can you put in place to get around it, head it off or deal with it in a way that feels good to YOU?

What kind of support do you need to navigate challenges and keep believing in yourself and who around you can be a part of that support?

These are the kind of questions I ask people to sit with, and get real about ( in a nonjudgmental and loving way) when I give workshops or when people come to me for guidance and coaching. They are yours to dive into and learn from.

The most important thing to remember is that YOU are always the MOST qualified person to help yourself, support yourself and give yourself what you need in all the ways and it’s easier when you are coming from a place of having a clear and confident sense of self. Knowing and deeply believing your value as a person doesn’t change according to how “ healthy” you are, how consistently you eat “ clean “ or how much you exercise is a key component of being truly healthy, and happy now and as your life evolves.

What would it look like to move forward, and take action today and tomorrow with YOU acting as the GURU, the EXPERT and your Go-TO person on your health, wellness and happiness?

What would you do differently?

Because you have the power to do so, and you have all along.