Winning at Twinning and Self-Care
Neither my husband or I was prepared for the intensity of having twins, let alone TWO SETS. Hearing those words for the first time felt like I winning an award for something incredibly special and unique. Hearing them for the second time felt like someone was laughing and saying, " let's see how much they can take."
Our first set of twins came 38 weeks to the day, via c-section. No complications for them or me fortunately. My second set of twins caused me to go into labor 3 hours from home, 4 weeks early which led to an adventure of epic proportions and included:
* a 10 day stay in a hospital room with no windows and no none I knew before the twins finally decided it was time.
* Flexing my self-advocacy and assertiveness muscles when I had to stop a helicopter mid flight en route to transport our children from one hospital to another
* Living in an R.V in the parking lot of the hospital for 10 days after being discharged so I could feed babies every hour and a half.
* A trip to the E.R and being pushed to my limits mentally when I had a full body allergic reaction to something and thought I wouldn't be able to breastfeed.
* Getting to feel the entire range of emotions almost every single day as I held babies, learned to practice resiliency and humor at all times, accepted help, love and support from my sisters, husband and family as I stepped into this new role as a mom of a herd of mini people.
Coming home with the second set of twins required us to redesign our life. I quit my career to stay home and care for the litter we now had and began slowly redefining what " having it all" ( the kids, the husband, the life I wanted) was going to look like NOW. Merging my needs, wants and goals with the expectations of my role as mother was something I had no idea would change my life so radically.
I had to learn how to create a new way of caring for my WHOLE SELF bit by bit, over time and in line with what I now valued and wanted to work towards PERSONALLY and PROFESSIONALLY. Because you see, I didn’t believe the people who told me I had to choose ONLY ONE.
Making how you feel AND the actions that allow you to feel that way A PRIORITY, and having a PLAN that makes it doable in your life.
Waking up with a mindset of confidence that no matter what gets thrown at you during the day ( which, let's face it could be toys, poop, food, cranky clients or internet trolls, depending on what you do) YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
Having the brain space to focus on what matters most, when it matters and not feeling like you're missing out on anything ( with your family, your career, your relationships.)
EVERYTHING GETTING BETTER AS YOU FEEL BETTER.
Defining and implementing skills that allow me to practice and live MY VERSION of self-care are THE REASON I am able to live my version of motherhood, health, success and happiness.
I've worked with hundreds of kids, teens ( I survived!) and adults and one consistent benefit for all ages is that EVERYTHING GETS BETTER.
When you make taking care of yourself a priority ( in anyway that you can and then allow that to evolve as you do) , learn the skills you need to do it, practice them consistently and intentionally , it spirals out into every other area of your life.
It's about redefining HEALTHY BEHAVIORS on your terms, IDENTIFYING the skills, both mental and physical that allow those behaviors to fit your life as it ebbs and flows and nurturing your WHOLE SELF, not just the self you can see. YOU get to decide what that looks and feels like for you.
There was a time when this is what it looked like for me… lifting weights, kids and sometimes both at the same time.
It doesn’t have to look this way for you, nor do you have to do it in a bikini.
Breaking it down, step by step.
Self-care and healthy behaviors ARE YOURS TO DEFINE, SET and EXPERIMENT with. “ HealthY” truly is whatever YOU SAY IT IS. You have a choice, and you don't need to suffer, experience sickness, overwhelm or exhaustion before creating wellness, health, and happiness.
It begins with cultivating SELF-AWARENESS. Know what you need, why you need it and BEGIN to cultivate a resilient, determined and unapologetic mindset about taking actions to support yourself.
Next, LEARN the skills that will help you get closer to how you want to feel. What resources, people or info do you need to begin implementing actions that both support your goals AND fit into your life as it is now? It's NOT ABOUT STRUGGLE, JUST STRATEGY.
EVERYTHING is a SKILL that can be learned, practiced then mastered to fit YOUR GOALS and YOUR LIFE. Those skills become habits. Those habits become part of who you are and the foundation you can work from as your life evolves and changes.
Isn't that empowering and exciting? What if you made self-care something that ENHANCED your life and fit into it in a way that supported YOU MENTALLY and PHYSICALLY instead of being something that dominates and diminishes it?
When you think of it that way, WILLPOWER ISN'T REQUIRED. When you have a hard time with something, it's just means you're early in the game of figuring out how to do it and see the results you want. It doesn't mean you are undisciplined, weak or a failure. MIND BLOWN right? We don't tell a child learning to walk that they need more willpower. We help them practice and give them encouragement. What if you GAVE YOURSELF the same UNDERSTANDING as you are instilling the habits and skills that YOUR HEALTH and HAPPINESS require?
How to Work With Me
Coaching, Workshops and Intensives
I currently offer workshops for groups , One on One Coaching for people who want individual focused attention and support, and 1 Day Intensives for people wanting to dive deep and get a plan in one solid day together. To learn more about workshops or speaking please head to the home page and click the learn more button under the speaker/teacher/people encourager heading, or feel free to email me at email@example.com with questions. I look forward to speaking to you!
One on One Coaching is available both in person and virtually. It's an in depth look at your current beliefs, habits and priorities, a co-creation of a NEW PLAN, HOW to practice it in your real life, HOW to NAVIGATE CHALLENGES and SUPPORT YOURSELF mentally through the good days and the challenging ones. You can find a more specific breakdown of what it looks like below or you feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’m happy to answer specific questions you may have.
Assess your current priorities and values in your life as it is now.
Assess your current habits, beliefs and areas you'd like to focus on improving or changing
Choose which skills and habits would be your best starting point and HOW AND WHEN you are going to intentionally practice them in your real life
Decide on a plan that equips you to deal with challenges, plot twists and surprises ( because they happen to everyone!) while also making progress
Cultivate an empowering and supportive mindset so you can SUPPORT yourself when you're with me and when you're not
Create a plan that is allows you to track, tweak and have a record of everything that's worked, what hasn't, how you've felt doing it and use that to guide future actions.
If you already know you're ready to INVEST IN YOURSELF and get guidance on WHAT TO DO and HOW TO DO IT in a way that feels fun, empowering and effective, click below to fill out the form on working together and I will be in touch to schedule a video call within 48 hours.